NaPoWrMo: Nothing

“Nothing happened”

I read, with no punctuation.

I close my eyes and squeeze out a tear.

Until this moment,

I’d never understood how two words

could have such contrasting meanings.

“Nothing happened”

Is an implication of our shared denial.

“Nothing happened”

Is a threat of contradiction.

“Nothing happened”

Is a worried inquisition.

“Nothing happened”

Is a simple statement,
a reminder,
a reassurance.

I try to play it back.

But my memory is lacking.

I can’t recall the external exchange.

Only the internal back and forth between

my slowing fading conscious mind

and the alcohol taking control.

The scenarios that play

like a whirlwind

in my mind

are so far from my reality.

Or are they?

My body temperature rises

and I can feel the sharp

all too familiar pain in my chest

as I reach the most severe sequence of events.

In my mind,

I let myself off the hook

to cool my core.

I’m slipping.

Nothing happened.

I repeat, Nothing.

Is what I remember.

Nothing.

Is all I have.

Nothing.